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Joke of the Day

"I picked up a girl at a bar. She told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I screwed her three times and hit her with a brick."

"Sneaky? Dude, I got two handfuls of soup into a movie theater once."

"town of terrorism joke https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi_tTBfYQlI&list=UUuWKX9oJE45RXSsvGTDTKKQ"

"*on death bed* priest: any regrets my child? *montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it* me: uhhhhh"

"OPEN UP. THIS IS THE POLICE. THANK YOU. CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM"

"A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said ""Uno, dos"" *POOF* He disappeared without a tres."

"My roommate thinks I have schizophrenia Which is weird because I live alone."

"When you go toe to toe with a Vietnamese Mexican... You either nguyen or you luz."

"*chasing after a rooster* give me your cool hat"

"We're all sex addicts. Some of us just have better dealers."