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Joke of the Day

"Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your pick? Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer."

"I never realized how overweight my thumbs were until I tried typing on an iPhone."

"A man jaywalked and got the entire left side of his body ran over. He was all right"

"I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night... ""You're a big lass, aren't you?"" I said. ""Tell me something I don't know,"" she replied with a tear in her eye. ""Salad tastes nice."""

"How did King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even."

"I can't imagine the enormous pressure on fat black women to be sassy all the time."

"I had a little bird, her name was enza, I opened up the window and influenza."

"Why do so many Latinos drive Hondas? Because they're reliable, quality made cars."

"The girl on the stripper pole got mad because I gave her a monopoly dollar, well fake boobs, fake hair, fake nails gets fake dollars!"

"I can take two pieces of rope eat them wait an hour then shit them out tied together.... I shit you knot... ha shit you knot"