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Joke of the Day

"I judge every book by its cover: ""Too smart for me"" is what I say and then look at Twitter on my phone."

"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, real men aren't afraid of the dark"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger should open a pest control business. He's already an ex-terminator."

"Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!"

"What if Snow White just pretended to be asleep so she didn't have to clean up after little people anymore? Because that I totally get."

"What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A virgin"

"Why do men like Haunted Bees? boobees ! :D I'll show myself out."

"It's Saturday.. Turning my give-a-crap-o' meter down... "

"2 fish in a tank, one says to the other Do you know how to drive this thing?"

"Instead of yet another love song, someone should write a song about wanting to be left alone for fifteen minutes."