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Joke of the Day

"They should make condoms out of bubble wrap. *pop pop* Hee-hee! *pop pop pop* Hee-hee! *pop pop pop* Hee-hee-oh! *pop* That was fun!"

"What is a brain dead couples' favorite pizza? Veggie lovers"

"I figure that its safe to ask. How are those New Year's resolutions going?"

"1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator? Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off."

"Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet? A: A trombone will bend before it breaks."

"It's six. Six raccoons. Six raccoons is the amount of raccoons that will make me turn around and walk down a different street. Six."

"I explained to my friend that he shouldn't be afraid of drowning in the sea because of Archimedes principle. But he was too dense."

"Why do gay men get so much hate? Because sometimes, they're fucking assholes."

"Have you ever had ethiopian food? Neither have they"

"Asking ""Why aren't you married yet"" is like asking ""Why haven't you jumped from a moving car yet?"" B/c it's painful and not required"