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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, ""taking all my change to the coinstar machine"""

"If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions."

"Behavioral studies show that those who use a lot of swear words tend to be more honest. That's what I've been trying to fcuking tell you!"

"My belly is fat My brain has delay. You guessed it right. I'm from NA."

"Sex while camping... Is fucking in tents."

"Winning an argument with a woman is like getting 1st prize in a ""who wants to sleep on the couch"" contest."

"- Let's get wasted! - No, I have a good job now, a great woman I love, and it's time to grow up. - ???? - Just kidding, few min lol"

"[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?"

"What fruit can't get married? Cantaloupe"

"Look picnics, if I wanted to spend three hours protecting my food with a spork, I'd just go to prison."