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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand interventions. What's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?"

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"How does a mathematician deal with constipation? He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out"
"TIFU by locking up an underage girl in my sex dungeon Whoops, wrong sub"
"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? He didn't either."
"Need expensive surgery? Tell a surgeon you're auditioning a few before picking one. Have them do the surgery then say ""OK I'll let you know"""
"Why did the bandit from Burma vote for Trump and Hillary to be the primary candidates? Because, Master Wayne, some men just want to watch the world burn."
"How to keep a girl: buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt"
"What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common? Their middle name."
"Why is leather armour the best for sneaking? Because it's literally made of hide. *Ba Dum Tsss"
"Why are hurricane names female because they are destructive until you go inssiiiddee.... came up with this while i was on the water"