94611

Joke of the Day

"""the name's bond. james bond. james bond jovi."" coming this summer, YOU ONLY LIVE ON A PRAYER TWICE. rated PG for piece of garbage"

"Two Scots father and son go to America. - Daddy when we'll arrive? - Shut up and swim."

"Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia."

"I can convert alcohol into an idiot"

"You know what they say about tapirs?... They're nosey pigs."

"So I'm in the process of house hunting... The deer population has gone out of control in my living room"

"Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian? A: An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it."

"Teacher : Can't you retain anything in your head overnight ? Pupil : Of course I've had this cold in my head for two days !"

"""Oh NOW Burger King delivers!"" -Paula Deen"

"I'm going to start a foundation dedicated to helping people with obsessive behaviour. And call it Obsessive Disorders Control."