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Joke of the Day
"What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? A naked blonde doing cartwheels."
Next Joke
"Do vegetarian cops... ....go on stakeouts?"
"I dated a lesbian who thought she might be bi, but I was afraid to make the first move. Felt like a pussy the first time she kissed me."
"Your face is the human equivalent of a blue screen Just came up with it, think its alright. Thoughts?"
"[coffee shop] *casually puts arm around wife* *reaches up to Free Wifi sign with a pen* *changes last ""i"" to an ""e"", draws downward arrow*"
"YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! -Oprah Winfrey. Meteorologist"
"Today I lost my viriginity to a disabled woman I just wanted it to be special."
"There's been lots of ""OH MY GOD!"" screams coming from the room opposite mine; I just wish the couple in there didn't pick now to be praying."
"Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard"
"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."" - neighborhood drunk"