94503

Joke of the Day

"I feel like whoever named it a ""magic marker"" was really overselling their product expectation-wise."

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere"

"BREAKING: Justin Bieber expresses interest in being baptized. Over 4 million people volunteer to hold his head under water."

"A priest with a lisp offered to bring a roamin' Catholic to Paris ... The Catholic, bread in hand, was not impressed."

"What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being special."

"There was once a doctor who tried to prove that mainly blood was kept in bones, But alas it twas in vein."

"Dear microwave companies, Why make us select ""cook"" at all? Does my appliance have a calculator function or something? Sincerely, Everyone"

"I hate it when I go to clean my daughters room & I emerge 3 hours later having just finished a delightful tea party with a giraffe & a pony."

"My pants are so tight I'm legitimately afraid they won't fit if I miss a day of shaving my legs."

"The three things you should never say at a gay bar Fuck that shit! Can I bum a fag? Can I push your stool in?"