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Joke of the Day

"The three things you should never say at a gay bar Fuck that shit! Can I bum a fag? Can I push your stool in?"

"Practicing parenthood on an egg only teaches kids that if you cook your baby it's delicious."

"Why did the baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo"

"Connor O'Connor walked out of a bar... [because hes irish!](http://replygif.net/i/1083.gif) ...thats pretty much the joke."

"If you can read this please let me know because it means I blocked the wrong person."

"Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle."

"How many Marines does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fuck it, we'll drink in the dark. (Happy birthday Devildogs)"

"Women claim men are dogs but remember if you feed a dog his favorite food all the time, he will never leave home."

"*wife gives me a big hug before I leave for work* I love you too, babe! [later] Where's my credit card? Son of a.."

"""Dad, lil bro pooped on the floor!""nMe: Ok, just like we practiced. I'll hide in garage, you go tell Mommy. This convo never happened! GO!"