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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Justin Bieber expresses interest in being baptized. Over 4 million people volunteer to hold his head under water."

"How does a train eat? They Chew-Chew."

"What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside ? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !"

"FYI: I guess the goal of bobbing for apples is not who can drink all the water."

"Why did the geologist's wife leave him? He took her for granite."

"I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way."

"*Slides a five across the bar* Bartender: Did you... Did you break this off our sign out front? Me: (Confidently) tap water please."

"Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you."

"A man goes to a doctor one day and says... ""Doctor! Please, I need a solution. I have 5 dicks!"" ""Well, that is astounding! Tell me, how do your pants feel?"" ""Like a glove!"""

"Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?"