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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers... Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed."

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"Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home."
"There should be a store for women in their 40's who try to dress like their children called Forever Inappropriate."
"I like to finish other people's sentences because... my version is better."
"Stickiest things in the world: 3) Lollipops 2) Glue 1) Children's library books"
"I got stung by a bee the other day..... 15 for a jar of honey!"
"I like my racist jokes like I like black people! I don't like black people."
"Face down, Ass up. That's how I like to tie my shoes."
"[funeral] ok I need everyone over 70 to gather for the bouquet toss"
"How many times did people question the honesty of Shakira's hips before she finally decided to defend them in a song?"