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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I yell at my stepladder, ""You're not my real ladder! You can't tell me what to do!"" And then I kick it. Feels good."

"Why is hay so unreliable? It keeps baleing"

"With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask. If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?"

"Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow."

"I saw a group of children crying during my visit to Kiev so I said, ""What Ukraine for?"""

"Surgeon: I'll be taking out your appendix today Me: [stomach rumbles] Surgeon: [puts stethoscope to my tummy] Appendix: I have a boyfriend"

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended. He must have done something that even the BBC find inexcusable So that rules out child abuse then...."

"What do you call an engineer who looks at other people's shoes when walking? Extroverted"

"two fish swim into a concrete wall one turn to the other and says:""Dam"""