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Joke of the Day

"With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask. If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?"

"Teenage Driver: But officer I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry but ignorance is no excuse."

"Jewelry in my family gets passed down from generation to generation. My tongue ring used to be my grandmother's clit ring."

"Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish"

"My psychologist says I have trouble identifying my emotions Not quite sure how I feel about it"

"Mike Tyson asks you: How do you think the unthinkable? With an Itheberg"

"I have a stepladder... ...because my real ladder left when I was a kid."

"Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. ""I just noticed,"" he whispered, ""your name sounds like Dildo"" #LastLinesFromGreatBooks"

"its raining men! hallelu..*thud* omg are you ok? *thud* oh sweet jesus! *thud* *thud* oh the horror! *thud* WHY GOD? WHYYYY??"

"""I just left my job. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me."" Friend: ""What did he say."" Me: ""You're fired."""