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Joke of the Day

"Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended. He must have done something that even the BBC find inexcusable So that rules out child abuse then...."

"What's the difference between a meeting and a funeral? A funeral is a meeting where you're dead outside as well as in."

"you may think the reason there is a pickaxe in the ice sculpture of a swan is 'i was trying to break the ice' but it is actually 'i hate it'"

"How much do dirty deeds cost again? -Malcolm Young"

"Do I look like a fan to you? Because you seem so much cooler when I'm around."

"I have a hotmail email account. But don't worry, I use it ironically."

"Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're.. Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me? HS: ..blocking the pickles."

"Hitler is threatening to start World War 3 He is dead serious. ayyy lmao"

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a hardware problem."

"My phone reception is so clear, I can hear my wife's eyes rolling as I talk."