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Joke of the Day

"""It's definitely better without a condom"" I say, removing it from my soup"

"Drugs are a crazy thing What did jerry Garcia say to Bob weir when they ran out of drugs? Man this music sucks!"

"Every time this gets RTed a member of Congress gets kicked in the groin."

"My wife asked me, ""Where's your wedding ring?"" I said, ""I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."""

"*bursts out of stable on a chihuahua* ""Wait, if you're here then that means"" *cut to a horse peeking it's head out of Paris Hiltons purse*"

"What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !"

"Did you hear about the dog who had sleep apnea? He had to get a C-PUP machine."

"I found a great recipe in my mathbook Everything was amazing except the *cos-law*"

"Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it."

"Had to pick my son up from school today He got caught being wanked off under the desk by someone in his class for the 3rd time this week! I said ""son, maybe teaching isn't the job for you!"""