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Joke of the Day

"Had to pick my son up from school today He got caught being wanked off under the desk by someone in his class for the 3rd time this week! I said ""son, maybe teaching isn't the job for you!"""

Next Joke
 
"A guy calls his boss and asks ""What's the difference between this morning and your wife?"" ""I'm not coming in *this morning*"""
"Best pun ...EVER Unfortunately I didn't go to the Gym today but the cashiers name at McDonald's was Jim .... So same thing, right??"
"What'd be worse? Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter?"
"What would Donald Trump do to nuclear weapons? He fires them!"
"DOCTOR: u broke ur leg in five places, how did this happen ME:*flashback of me trying to carry too much ice cream up the stairs* bears."
"So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, ""I will kill you in your sleep."""
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar.. One says to the other: ""I can't believe I just blew 40 bucks in there."""
"what idiot named it Mail Order Bride instead of Male Order Bride?"
"Knock Knock. Who's not there? Not me."