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Joke of the Day

"Chinese kid was born before the due date Parents named him Sudden Lee."

"When I think about you, I touch myself. In the face. With my fist."

"The residents of Mayberry took a course in computer programming. When the instructor said, ""Compile,"" Gomer went to the head of the class."

"On 3. Ready? One. Two. Three. *Both show rock Again! *Both show rock Again! *Both show rock Again! Caveman: This game is stupid."

"Did you hear about the cliff in Helen Keller's backyard? Neither did she."

"I was on the beach with my daughter. After a while, she turned to me and said, ""Dad, you look like a lobster."" ""Oh no,"" I replied, ""Am I burning?"" She said, ""No. Just very ugly."""

"Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator... I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime."

"In the 50's the pot called the kettle a different word."

"A got a beer for my wife... and it was the best trade I've made in a while"