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Joke of the Day

"A guy called into work on his last day there and says, ""Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?"" ... ""I'm not coming into work this morning."

"Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is."

"Make the little things count, teach midgets math"

"A dyslexic man walks into an Arab."

"""Shit just got real."" - God, creating the digestive system"

"Standing up quickly is my Six Flags."

"Ugh! I always think of the best comebacks when I'm burying the body."

"""Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom"" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth"

"What do you call a Mexican wrestler that only fights during his 12:00 break? A lunchador."

"Thank God Wolverine isn't italian..."