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Joke of the Day

"Call me a little softy... But I'd rather you call me a man with a small penis and a flagging erection."

"What is the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs? One is a Goodyear, the other is a Great year!"

"Best joke in the world? Women's rights."

"Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ? ""Why are we running so fast ?"" said one Because it says ""Tear along the dotted line"""

"I went into my sons room and found a mouse, so I stamped it to death. It would have been so much easier if there wasn't a fucking cage around it."

"Told my mom I hit 1200 Twitter followers. She pointed out how my brother owns a house and I'm wanted by several collection agencies. Oh ma!"

"What do you call a rabbi with heart burn? Acidic Jew"

"I'm not playing hard to get. I'm playing leave me the fuck alone."

"Why does the corn hate the farmer? Because he picks his ears!"

"I'm a pretty neutral guy. I find it hard to choose sides. I mean, I have an uncle who drives a truck for Pepsi and a cousin who sucks dick for coke."