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Joke of the Day

"Best joke in the world? Women's rights."

"My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded."

"Did you hear about the guy who was frozen to absolute zero? Don't worry he was OK."

"How many tickles does a Japanese school girl want? Tentickles."

"What do parsley and pussy hair have in common? You push it aside and keep eating. Credit to a coworker that told me this last night."

"Why do cannibals make suitcases out of peoples heads? Because they're headcases !"

"How many LAPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to beat the bulb for being broke, another to shoot the room for being black."

"Watching the olympics women beach volleyball first round... There's already been a wrist injury, but I should be ok by tomorrow."

"I heard they made a movie about the Connect Four game. I think it was called the human centipede."

"What do Brits call a fleshlight? A blowtorch."