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Joke of the Day

"I went into my sons room and found a mouse, so I stamped it to death. It would have been so much easier if there wasn't a fucking cage around it."

"What did the redneck get on his SATs? Barbecue sauce."

"I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist."

"Look At Me Darling Man Looked His Naked Body In Mirror And Said To The Wife Man: ""Look 70 Kgs Of Pure Dynamite"" Wife Smiled And Reply: ""But Shame On The 5cm Fuse"""

"R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)"

"A taliban and his wife are getting ready to go to sleep at night... ...but before that, the taliban goes out to pee. He returns back all wet. ""Is it raining outside?"" ""No, it's windy..."""

"What did the 3 tampons say when they walked past you? Nothing! They were all stuck up bitches..."

"remember: knives and alcohol don't mix. knives are solid they don't mix with anything. why where you trying to drink a knife anyways idiot"

"Hate is a strong word... I prefer the term ""want to stab them thirty-seven times in the chest."""

"My friend's coming over, I've got to be careful... ...my house mates are crazy and he's allergic to nuts. *Yes indeed.*"