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Joke of the Day

"LA girls say they want to go on ""adventures"" but when I pitch the idea of overthrowing the yakuza they clarify that they meant, like, hiking"

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"Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange."
"I asked my dad if I was adopted... He said, ""No, but not from lack of trying."""
"Brazil is getting slaughtered I can't take it an Neymar"
"Helen Keller walks into a bar And then into a table, and then a chair, and then a door."
"The FedEx guy said I look like a sexy pirate. I'm not sure if that's considered sexual harassment or flirting."
"Most guys that think they know everything about women usually lack one thing.... A woman."
"What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car."
"What did they call the man who knew how to read maps? A legend"
"Who's the laziest doctor at the hospital? ''Doctor Dolittle.'' EDIT: The doctor off that movie that talks to the animals."
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