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Joke of the Day

"Melania Trump immigrated to America in 1996 And after her speech I now see why Donald says that ""all immigrants are thieves"""

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff."

"Top Five Accountant Taboos: 5. Unreconciled difference 4. Doesn't foot & crossfoot 3. No journal entry support 2. Cooking the books 1. Sex"

"My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"Really? Wow! (The only two things I ever say to kids)"

"There are 70 ways to make a man happy... One is booze and the other is 69."

"Fun Game: 1. Be a couple without kids. 2. Hire a babysitter. 3. When they show up and ask where the kid is, scream, ""You lost it already?!?"""

"The TSA agent who runs the x-ray machine just told me ""Nice penis."" Thank you, Al Qaeda!"

"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

"In a village full of hipsters no one ever lied. Because hips don't lie."