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Joke of the Day

"The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers"

"My blind friend and his birthday I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read."

"What's Peter Pan's brother's name? Peter Pot. He gets so high he never lands."

"Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund."

"What does a Jewish pedophile say? L'Hymen!"

"Thank God pets can't talk, they know too much."

"My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said Maybe"

"What is a ghost's favorite street? A boooooooolevard."

"Johnny's mother called his father at work... ""Johnny just swallowed a nickle and spit up two dimes, what do I do??"" ""Keep feeding him nickles!"""

"Why can't Harry Potter distinguish between his best friend and his pot in potions class? They're both cauldron"