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Joke of the Day

"Calling ""shotgun"" is great way to lighten the mood when getting in the squad car after the cops arrest you."

"But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?"

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and maybe use some lube"

"Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear? A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck."

"How much does a Hipster weigh? An Instagram."

"Have you seen the movie about constipation? It hasn't come out yet!"

"This hot weather... The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts... Although it does make me look a bit gay."

"How does a mermaid give a man head? She blows him out of the water"

"Looks like Putin will be having Turkey for Thanksgiving"

"An ISIS attack wouldn't do any damage to Chicago What's one more pot hole?"