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Joke of the Day

"My anniversary is coming up Friday is my anniversary, I'll have been married for 35 years. Really it only 5 years, but I count in dog years because my wife is such a bitch."

"How many calories does avoiding eye contact burn?"

"Met a prostitute that will do anything for 100 $ Guess who's writing my take home exam ^^"

"Republican Health Plan Since Republicans are dismantling Obamacare, they wanted to coin a name for their new health plan. They came up with Nobodycare."

"My girlfriend left me recently because I kept on touching pasta... Right now I'm feeling cannelloni..."

"Why does Stevie Wonder smile? Because he's better than you."

"What did the vampire say to the teacher? See ya next period."

"In the future, people won't ask for a cup of sugar... Instead, they'll ask for a gigabyte of sug.rar"

"Bruce Jenner joke. Bruce's transition to a woman has been so fascinating, a whole new category has been made for him. He will be considered Transjenner."

"What does C3PO stand for? Because he's got rusty knees."