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Joke of the Day

"Met a prostitute that will do anything for 100 $ Guess who's writing my take home exam ^^"

"I told my SO that now Movember is over they should shave their mustache. She didn't take it very well."

"I feel sorry for Eazy-E He went from Straight outta Compton to Straight outta condoms before getting aids. I'm sorry."

"Did you hear about the couple who got married in a gymnasium? It didn't work out."

"So I went to a culture booth recently... And I tried some ramen. Wasn't a great idea I soon found out, as I had eaten a cheeseburger not long before. Everything just surrendered..."

"Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory? She threw out all the W's."

"ME: you don't look anything like your profile photo TINDER DATE: LOL no, that's my pug, Arthur *silence for 10mins* ME: is Arthur coming or"

"Marc Anthony jeans at Kohl's come in three cuts - tuberculosis, heroin addict and skeletor."

"I wish my work would pay me to tweet all weekend like they do all week."

"I asked my wife to tell me something that made me happy and sad at the same time... She said ""Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick.""."