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Joke of the Day

"My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants"

"Ladies, If you would simply make your Facebook profile pic a bikini shot, it would save me a lot of awkward stalking time."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"My middle finger gets a boner whenever I think of you."

"Wonderbra tried to defend there new bra today. But it didn't hold up in court."

"Ever since I installed Adblocker Plus things haven't been going so well.. All of a sudden chicks in my area are no longer interested in me."

"I just ate 4 cans of alphabet soup. I'm going to have the best vowel movement."

"Did you hear about the Spaniard who was obsessed with Greek Mythology? I said to him, ""Jesus?"" and he replied, ""Where's Zeus?"""

"I put the ""ate"" in chocolate."

"A really drunk guy... A really drunk guy gets into a taxi and says ""Heeeyy cab guy, can I leave the pizza and the beer in the front seat?"" ""yeah no problem"" -BHLUAGHH-"