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Joke of the Day
"What do black people get when they die? Nigger Mortis"
Next Joke
"Show me on this Russian nesting doll where the bad man hid many more, smaller versions of you"
"What Is the Difference Between a ISIS Training Camp and a Iraqi School? Can't Tell the Fucking Difference, I just fly the drone."
"Me: ""What's wrong?"" Wife: ""Nothing's wrong."" [Sighs heavily. Rolls eyes. Clenches jaw. Bursts into flame.] Me: ""I think something's wrong."""
"I live off my music and the pain it inflicts on others."
"I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal."
"Cauliflower is just ghost broccoli."
"Didja hear that Hershey's is bringing out a new LGBT candy-bar? They're callin it a Lady Bruce."
"Wanna hear a joke?? Okay here goes, My ex-wife still misses me! BUT HE AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! You see it's funny because marriage is terrible.-Stanley pines 2012"
"I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b"