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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""What's wrong?"" Wife: ""Nothing's wrong."" [Sighs heavily. Rolls eyes. Clenches jaw. Bursts into flame.] Me: ""I think something's wrong."""

"Do you like my new baby sister ? The stalk bought her. Hmm it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head."

"People are smoking weed today They all think that today is 4/20, too."

"A girl told me she liked teasing So we went into the bedroom and I told her that she had a weird, misshapen nose and she suddenly started crying. Women and their mixed messages."

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity Twice!"

"Fun: text friend Are you alone right now? They go Yes. Then u text back LOL"

"The only people who received awards for African American Achievement at my brother's 5th grade graduation were black. Fucking racism."

"What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? An Octopussy."

"A report indicates Viagra can cause temporary hearing loss in men. So guys, you can have sex, but you can't hear the woman talk afterwards. In a related story, Viagra sales have skyrocketed."

"Gay guys are fucking assholes"