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Joke of the Day

"I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal."

"Just slammed 12 wheatgrass shots now everyone at Whole Foods is trying to take my keys"

"Movie critics have said some negative things about the new movie Jobs... I guess Ashton Kutcher didn't do a good Jobs."

"Haters are like crickets You can't see them but you can hear them, and when you walk by them they are quiet."

"Girls heres how to tell if a guy wants you for sex 1) He does"

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

"The avengers walk into a bar Except vision. He phased."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. That's a hardware problem."

"HELP ME I'M CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE nevermind I'm good."

"My Fallout 4 Review It's a blast."