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Joke of the Day

"When I was a child, I loved astronomy and I actually saw Orion's belt many times. My Dad's nickname was Orion and he used to beat the shit out of me because I didn't like sports."

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it."

"Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens? She didn't want to litter"

"Not quite feeling myself today. I'm going to see if booze helps..."

"An opening line when you're meeting her parents. I cut back on the alcohol because you should be able to trust a fart at 27."

"If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crock and Dial ! Crock and Dial who ? Crock and Dial Dundee !"

"""I wish I had more time to read"" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode."

"Perforated Paper Products Inc just went out of business. They should have seen it coming. They had a tearable product."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because, he ate the pizza before it was cool."