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Joke of the Day

"Perforated Paper Products Inc just went out of business. They should have seen it coming. They had a tearable product."

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can actually finish a race."

"What did Achilles say when he got hit by an arrow? Aww heel no! Kill me right now."

"What do you call a vegan wizard? A soyceror."

"What do you call a pair of eyeglasses that questions its surroundings? Skepticles."

"Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting."

"*at the movie theater* umm ok the hackers also said theyd do a terror unless u giv me unlimited free popcorn and uh.. also that guys popcorn"

"What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows."

"[barber shop] BARBER: what can we do for you today? MEDUSA: well.. [removes hat] BARBER: MEDUSA: BARBER: so do you want more or less snakes?"

"What do you call the drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless."