167027

Joke of the Day

"If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster."

"Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with."

"If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet."

"""You remind me of this hooker i knew."" ""You knew a hooker?"" hey you don't call her that, she's your mother."

"I once dated a girl with twelve nipples Sounds weird, dozentit?"

"Username poop_dude: you have been banned from the Constipation Forums. Reason: arrogance"

"[Meta] Anyone else hate jokes that are too long? They usually have too many characters."

"Crack babies are really sad but meth babies are super productive."

"What idiot decided to call it chewing tobacco instead of chewbacca?"

"Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."