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Joke of the Day

"Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault"

"*slides $5 to the funeral director* Maybe you can get me the widow's phone number?"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter;it's not going to come"

"MOVE CHEESE!! Get out of the whey!! Credit to some youtuber."

"dwights farm as suffered a massive blight, almost bankrupt he was signed for a massive record deal on the condition he give up farming turns out all he had to do was drop those sick beets"

"squirrel making love A squirrel was making love with a nut. another one passing by is shocked: are you fucking crazy? the first one: no stupid, I'm fucking nuts."

"I saw a squirrel pooping the other day. Shit's Nuts..."

"Joke What did the egg say to the moon"

"Two men walked into a bar You'd think at least one of them would've ducked."

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to eat your sandwiches."