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Joke of the Day

"What did one French Guy say to another French Guy? ""Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!"" (""Hello, I am called Guy as well!"")"

"Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day? Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom."

"I used to want to live in the sewers with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a kid so I'd say I'm a success compared to that."

"I don't get sports lingo. It's always offsides this, penalty that, murder this, sexual assault that."

"so you teens like ""selfies"" huh? well if you picked up a bible now and then you would know god did selfies when he created us in his image"

"Samsung will no longer use the name ""Galaxy"" name on the Note 7... From now on, it's the Samsung Supernova 7."

"What do women and dog turds have in common? The older they get the easier they are to pick up."

"Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order."

"What do you get when yo cross sheep DNA with human DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo."

"Auto correct tries to change the word ""pussies"" to ""Aussies"".... Just saying."