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Joke of the Day

"I am just a boy, standing in front of a milkshake, wondering by what sorcery it beckoned me to this yard"

"Why are ISIS so safety conscientious and choose to use donkeys instead of vehicles for transportation? vehicle tail pipes will burn your ass bad"

"[God Creating Raccoons] God: make a panda but a trash panda, then give it a mask so that people would know it will kill them for their food"

"Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast? The game warden found out he poached his eggs!"

"[speaking to a guy who looks nothing like Ed Sheeran] ""Hey man, do people ever say you look like Ed Sheeran?"" ""No"" ""Didn't think so"""

"I hear Bristol Palin is pregnant again... Ever since Trig was born, she's been Down to fuck."

"I ll see myself out.. Did you know? You can buy a 2 pack of Eminem s for Fifty cent..... It s Ludacris"

"Sorry I yelled ""GET A ROOM!"" at your grandson's wrestling tournament."

"The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as ""famous."""

"Just a reminder that your coworkers aren't going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it."