102276

Joke of the Day

"Why are ISIS so safety conscientious and choose to use donkeys instead of vehicles for transportation? vehicle tail pipes will burn your ass bad"

"What is the dairy farmer's favorite exercise? Calf Raises."

"Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my lovers hair. It's a nice way to let them know my love and also that we're out of napkins."

"I want to get a job cleaning mirrors It's just something I could see myself doing"

"A guy calls the hospital. He says, ""You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"" The nurse says, ""Calm down. Is this her first child?"" He says, ""No! This is her husband!"""

"I went to the doctors today told him ""I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem"". The doctor said, ""Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that""."

"What did Hansel and Gretel say when the witch put them in the oven? She diabeetus!"

"What is a chinese homosexual videogamer called? Gay Ming"

"Ronda isn't being a poor sport ..she just needs a few months to learn how to talk again"

"I just saw a guy take a bite out of a kitkat without breaking it apart first. Listen sir, society has rules. Adhere to them please."