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Joke of the Day

"Just a reminder that your coworkers aren't going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it."

"What is the National bird of Pakistan? Drone"

"What's worse than a lobster on your piano? What's worse than a lobster in your piano? A CRAB on your organ."

"I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes. I usually end up stabbing the chair."

"Hi yes, I'd like the cheeseburger ""How would you like that cooked?"" *gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously"

"My skis are like my parents They're drifting apart"

"I had a racist incident in my kitchen today.... The black bean soup started dissing the white cream sauce, I finally told them both to simmer down."

"A bomb just went off in a paris cheese shop There is de brie everywhere!"

"Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn't push the pram - she pulled it."

"how to see if theres a american on this post bill nye the science guy"