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Joke of the Day
"what to ketchup and a condom have in common? they both go on your weenie"
Next Joke
"[trial] Judge: how do you plead? ""not guilty"" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. ""he asked me to make him a pancake"""
"""I hate you but I'm not in hate with you."" - Murderer delicately explaining why he left a victim with only a light stabbing"
"what do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-oh acid"
"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"
"Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet."
"Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator."
"hello poison control. i need some poison asap, my kid is being a real piece of shit. yes i'll hold."
"Ready to earn money staring at my screen all day so I can afford to go home & stare at my screen all night, repeating the process unto death"
"Sadly, at 8:11 PM Mark Jones was mispronounced dead. [at hospital] Doctor: I'm afraid this man has deed. Am I saying that right? He's deed."