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Joke of the Day

"why shouldn't you fart in church? you'd have to sit in your own pew."

"Playing with Silly Putty is like chewing gum for your hands."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it into a microwave until it's bill withers."

"I wait tables with an obnoxious ex-mechanical engineer... ...he's always going on and on about the restaurant's utensil modulus."

"An accountant at a bank was constipated Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good."

"Seriously wondering how many times is it appropriate to say ""What?"" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?"

"My friends and I are having a body-part pun contest. The game is afoot!"

"My favourite word is snigger It allows me to be sracist without speople sthinking I'm a sbad sperson"

"I went out with a girl last week, she told me she wanted to be 'treated like a Princess'... So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove it into a wall."

"Where do SJWs belong? In an oven."