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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis."

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the sensitive thief? He took a fence."
"Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, ""Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"" He says, ""Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""
"I keep getting calls telling me that I have outstanding bills... ...and while I appreciate the compliment, they're really nothing special."
"How do rainbows laugh? Hue hue hue"
"What is a chefs weapon of choice? A salt rifle"
"New Zealand cricket"
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs They always take things literally"
"Two women are sitting in a cafe discussing work.. One says to the other ""How do you like your job testing push-up bras?"" The other woman replies, ""It has its perks."""
"I like my coffee like I like my women Full of my own semen."
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