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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis."

"Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash? Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess."

"Where do cows go for fun? To the moo-vies!"

"Why did Sodium Chloride get arrested? Assault."

"What country can't be hacked? Madagascar, because all their ports are closed."

"My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone."

"What's the difference between a goat and a kid? I stopped butchering goats."

"What's the difference between Rob Ford and an Ethiopian child? Rob Ford has more than enough to eat at home."

"CAUGHT ON TAPE: Lint"

"Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work."