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Joke of the Day

"The girl in the kitchen is cooking dinner When dinner didn't arrive on the table, they looked in the kitchen. They didn't find anything but Tara-gone."

"Cop: Is that a turtle? Me: ... Cop: Painted blue? Me: ... Cop: With nails glued on? Me: ... Cop: Mario Kart's not real Me: YOURE NOT REAL"

"remember when u found out the french word for seal was phoque and u were like this is the best day of my phoquing life"

"If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. *They're normally around 90 degrees.*"

"A man walks into a bar... Ow."

"What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick? M'alady"

"What's another word for ""thesaurus""? Steven Wright joke, iirc."

"What did Ryu say when I asked if I could have some of his food? ***SHORYUKEN***"

"Abortion sure brings out the kid in you."

"Two atoms are walking down the street... The first atom says ""hey, you just stole my electron!"" The second atom says ""are you sure?"" The first atom says "" yes, i'm positive."""