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Joke of the Day

"It's Friday night... So many innocent beers have no idea what's coming for em."

"Why didn't JFK ever like vodka? Because he couldn't handle a few shots"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"I've just bought a film on DVD about a prisoner that finally gets parole. I've waited years for it to be released."

"Relationship status: I tried to blow a kiss but it wants to just be friends"

"What do you get when you cross Ebola and Tourette Syndrome?"

"What would romantic living dead movie be called? Zombaes"

"What's 12 inches long, stiff, red and purple, and makes women scream? Crib death"

"Did you hear there was a nuclear explosion in space this morning?! Most people call it the sun. Note: My dad pulled this on me this morning. My friend hit me when I told them."

"I thought nothing could be more embarrassing than finding my dad's playboys in the closet. Until one of them tried to shake my hand."