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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't JFK ever like vodka? Because he couldn't handle a few shots"

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"Why don't women blink during sex? They don't have time!"

"""Nope. Nope. Yeah right. Nope. Close! Nah. Nope. Almost! Hahaha, you're terrible at this."" - piece of popcorn stuck between teeth."

"My favorite endangered species is the black NASCAR fan."

"What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos? An Aristotalitarian Regime."

"Hi I'm michael cera and this is jackass [blows on his yogurt to make sure it's not to hot]"

"What do you call it when a flight attendant gets pregnant? Pilot error."

"Roses are red.... Violets are blue-ish, If it weren't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish!"

"My dad has a weird hobby, he collects empty bottles. Which sounds a lot better than alcoholic."