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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like my slaves... Free!"
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"What kind of Pokemon hides in the bushes outside of delis? Peek-a-Jew"
"What do you call the god of cheese? Cheesus"
"I pity those who feel the need to brag about themselves to get people's attention. I hate them more than the scratch on my Lamborghini."
"Sorry I can't go out. My phone is too old to hold enough charge so I live by this outlet now."
"What's the best kind of bee? Boo-bees"
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do... And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down'."
"Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that."
"Sorry I'm late... I was at the hospital *cough* my boyfriend has tuberculosis."
"Jay-Z has vowed to never use the word ""bitch"" again I guess he has 100 problems now."