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Joke of the Day

"I pity those who feel the need to brag about themselves to get people's attention. I hate them more than the scratch on my Lamborghini."

Next Joke
 
"Why are protein shakes such loners? They're whey isolate."
"What's it called when you have decided to stop eating cold turkey sandwiches?"
"How To Ride An Escalator: -Step 1 -Now Just Chill for a Bit"
"After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me.. As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now."
"What's long green and smells like pork scratchings? Kermit the frogs finger."
"I saw my buddy Barry Goldstein at the casino the other night. It was very un-jew-sual."
"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer accepts a 3.5 in. floppy."
"Rey: Why do you hide behind a mask? Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on."
"If I were God I would say I'm going to fill the ocean with water but when the Subway employee wasn't looking fill it with Sprite instead."