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Joke of the Day

"Surgeon: I need someone to unroll this bandage, stat! Cat nurse, excitedly: I've got this."

"Take a stand against childhood obesity by chasing little fat kids down the street."

"Are you African? [NSFW] Because you are a frican bitch. Zing~!"

"Girl: ""all boys are the same"" Yes, because Zac Efron, Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama share extreme similarities."

"I recently bought some shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"My girlfriend found a spot between her boobs this morning, the doctor eased her worries telling her it was just her belly button."

"[At Neiman Marcus] *looks at sales clerk* *holds up a Prada and a Burberry briefcase* I don't know...which one will hold more chicken nuggets?"

"The main reason Santa Claus is so jolly is because... he knows where all the bad girls live. :3"

"*interrogating cat* Admit it! You're a Communist! ""Meow"" A no-good red! ""Meow"" Tough guy eh? ""Meow"" We can do this all night. ""Mao"" Youwait"

"I had 2 big surprises today. The first one was that the Thai massage centre at the bottom of my road is actually a brothel..."