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Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a sheep joke But it just came out baaaaaaaad"

"Alabama has changed its drinking age to 28 Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school"

"Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There's no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks."

"If you follow the rules of grammar, people will always help you. If you don't, your on you're own."

"If you take a picture of a man named Richard... Is it a Dick pic?"

"I almost had a threesome last night, All I needed was two more women."

"To the idiots who say ghosts aren't real, maybe you should watch this documentary called Ghostbusters."

"Asked my Ouija board if I was getting laid tonight. The pointer keeps gliding back and forth between the H and the A. It's been over an hour."

"I say ""post-9/11"" for literally anything that happened in the last 14 years. Madagascar 2 is so post-9/11. Dr Pepper Ten is a post-9/11 soda"

"PERSON: Want a slice? ME: No thanks, trying to eliminate bread P: From your diet? M [having sworn to destroy all bread]: Sure...from my diet"